25 Things Saix Cannot Do
by The Bound Deity
Summary: Loosely based off 50 Things Demyx Cannot Do. This is exactly what it says on the tin. Minor OOC.


1) I am forbidden from saying 'Zexion', 'emo' and 'midget' in the same sentence.  
i) If I do, Zexion _will_ trap me in his lexicon for all eternity.

2) Neither am I allowed to slap Zexion upside the head.  
i) Even if it does make an excellent sound.

3) I am not allowed to draw in Zexion's lexicon.  
i) Or he will substitute my claymore for the hoover extension.

4) Nor am I allowed to lock Axel in the understairs cupboard.  
i) And then tell him Vexen is in there.  
ii) And wants to experiment on his DNA.

5) I am not allowed to download virtual guns onto my iPod.  
i) And then demonstrate it to Zexion whilst pointing it at him.  
ii) Because he has technically died 47 times.  
iii) Despite the fact he doesn't have a heart.  
iv) No matter what Demyx says.

6) I am forbidden from mocking Zexion's height...or lack of.  
i) Because he _will_ bite my kneecaps.

7) I am not allowed to swing Vexen's hair into a bucket, claiming that I am collecting fat to cook the chips.

8) Zexion is not Sephiroth's son.  
i) Or the Hidden Remnant.  
ii) Despite the obvious resemblance.

9) Spreading rumours that Marluxia grows cannabis in his garden is not appropriate behaviour for an organization member.

10) Singing 'Hips Don't Lie' whenever I see Axel is forbidden.  
i) Despite the fact he has women's hips...  
ii) ...and sways them when he summons his chakram.

11) Larxene is not a Heartless/human hybrid.  
i) Nor is she a Pikachu.  
ii) Any attempts to capture her in a Pokeball will end badly.  
iii) For everyone.

12) Axel's chakram aren't to be used as Frisbees.  
i) Despite the fact they look like them.

13) Singing 'Can't Fight The Moonlight' at two in the morning is prohibited.

14) 'I wanted a better view of the moon.' is not a suitable excuse for tearing down the wall in a berserker rage.  
i) ...though it should be...

15) Suggesting that we set Axel on fire rather than lighting a candle is not allowed.  
i) Though I don't see the problem with it.

16) Singing the 'Emo Kid' song when I'm within 500 metres of Zexion is suicide.  
i) We used to have 15 members. But he didn't pay attention to the rules.

17) Singing 'Dude Looks like a Lady' near Marluxia will result in severe punishment.  
i) Even if Zexion was doing it as well.

18) Slipping potions from Vexen's lab in other members' drinks is banned.  
i) Seeing as the Superior turned into a ginger tomcat last time.  
ii) He wasn't best pleased.

19) Xigbar's title is 'The Freeshooter' not 'Pirate Man'.  
i) Even if Zexion shouts 'I. Am. PIRATE MAN!' every time he sees Xigbar.

20) Larxene's title is 'The Savage Nymph' not 'Spiderbitch'.  
i) Even if the rest of the organization agrees.

21) Vexen is not a sausage.  
i) It is forbidden to voice this opinion during lunch.  
ii) Especially if Zexion is eating bangers and mash at the time.  
iii) Because it will put him off food for life.  
iv) And that would be real bad.

22) Larxene is not Wolverine.  
i) Despite the fact her kunai look like his claws.  
ii) If this statement is voiced inside Larxene's range of ownage, I will die.

23) Xaldin is not a Wolverine/Bob Marley hybrid.  
i) Even if he does sing 'No Woman No Cry' in the shower.  
ii) And if he has Wolverine's sideburns...  
iii)...and Bob Marley's dreadlocks.  
iv) I cannot refer to him as 'Wolverine with dreadlocks'.

24) Getting hyper off cherryade and singing 'They're Taking The Hobbits To Isengard' is not acceptable behaviour for an organization member.

25) I must not beat the other members to death.  
i) Even if they call my claymore a lolly stick.  
ii) And question me on how I blew wind at the Keybearer if I control the moon,  
iii) And sing the Xemnas' Bitch song.  
iv) And call me a werewolf.

* * *

If Saix seems a bit OOC, its because this is based off my friend's inner Saix. Most of these won't make any sense, because they're inside jokes between me and my friends. ^-^

The SpiderBitch Song

_SpiderBitch, SpiderBitch,  
Does whatever a SpiderBitch does,  
Can she swings from a web?  
No, she can't 'cause she's a bitch,  
Look out, its SpiderBitch~!_

The Xemnas' Bitch Song

_Xemnas' bitch, Xemnas' bitch,  
Does whatever a Xemnas' bitch does,  
Can he swing from a web?  
No, he can't 'cause he's a ~!_

**Reviews are love. If you love me, review, if you don't love me, review anyway! *holds out cookie***


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